The Ego --- Let it Go

Past Life Session....

I am a strong built man standing and looking at a big White house with tree lined lawn. I am a landlord, owner of land and a big fruit garden. I am looking for someone but no one is there in the balcony. I am alone but not sad.

There is a lady who wants to run away from me but do not know where to go. (deep breathing and cry). I am quiet and do not speak as I have nothing to say. She now leaves.  

A lady is standing in the door, looking and calling at me. I am sitting and taking food served in a golden plate. I have everything and am at peace but I still miss something.

I am sitting on the edge of a big pool of water lined all around with blue stone with my feet inside the water. There are people in the fields who are going away from me. A group of 3 to 4 children, wearing blue dress, are also going but I do not know where.

I am wearing white Dhoti, a gold belt around my waist and gold bracelet in my wrists and walking down the path along the fields. People working in the fields are saluting me. A small beautiful girl is there and is pulling me towards her. The girl shines like gold light floating in the air (lot of crying). The girl is like a Pari. I am happy but alone.

I am in a beautiful white palace and looking at it. It is different but it is not mine now. I have left everything. My mother is cunning and manipulative. She is not happy with herself. I fought with everyone and they left me.  

There is a golden palace but I do not want to go in there. It seems some lady has cursed me for not settling something right which I could have. She is sitting on a big throne and looking at me with hatred. It seems she has some relation with me. She wants to marry me but I refuse to marry as I have lot of responsibility on me. I think I am not worth her. A Divine light protects me and advises me not to marry her. It’s presence along with me makes me at peace and tells me I have to live alone.

I am walking behind three children.  There is a big beautiful red colored school building by the side of a river. Children climb up the stairs and go inside. I am walking in a banana garden. A man is walking along me with folded hands. There is a tin shed where rat infested rotten cereals are stored. I close its door. The cereals are damaged due to worker’s mistake. I told him it happened because of your karma. I have incurred loss but it does not matter to me. He is crying and sad. I tell him to give his unhappiness to me I will bear it. I left towards the school. I sit on its stairs. A boy comes and starts walking along holding my hand. I do not know why we are walking together. I take care of him. I sleep on a small bed despite having so much. Someone comes, gives food and returns.

Something is not good. There is lot of noise. People are fighting over gold earned by me in a hard way. They are showing their true colors. They are my own. I am angry and my head is aching. They are bad people. I do not want to live with them. I want to run away from here and go my own way. A light comes and tells me I had shown the way to you but you did not walk that path. The white light is with me and it loves me a lot and never leaves me. It protects me and helps me correct my mistakes. It wants to take me along but I want to experience life. I am egoistic. I am sitting quiet and meditating with open eyes in a room. There is something wrong with my right foot. I am angry. I am riding a horse and climbing the hill very fast. There is a Devi temple at the peak. It is an ancient Devi temple of 1537 now in a dilapidated condition. Devi is calming me and my anger is subsiding. I am calm now. Here the energy is different. I hold its feet and pray take my ego. It refuses. I had come up to jump. I hit my head at Devi’s feet. I am bleeding from the head. I die at her feet. It is evening time.

Last thought was protect me I don’t want such life. I worked hard and earned everything myself. All were selfish and bad. 

Lesson learnt : I have to let go my Ego.