why I met him?

Why I met him?

She wanted to know why I chose my present life husband. I want to experience root cause life linked to my present troubled married life.

Session….

I am walking on narrow path lined with lot of trees on both sides. Now I am crossing river. I am a woman in mid my 20s wearing a long dress. I reached a blue door. It is a small house. I opened the door and climbing the stairs. A 5 year old boy is sleeping. I am coming down and going to kitchen. There is garden at the back. It is Eastern Europe. Now I am in the market. An old man is trying to speak to me. I am feeling irritated. I do not like him. I ignored him. He looks like my present life husband. I came back home.

One day that old man started knocking at my door. I opened the door, shouted at him and told him not to come. I closed the door. He is my father. I am sitting and thinking about my childhood. I am the only child. My father is an alcoholic, always drunk and no work. My mother died when I was 15 years old. Very soon after that a very influential man married me. I lived with them in a villa. His mother never talked to me. I gave birth to a son. He shifted me along with my son to this small house. My mother used to call me Pollina. My husband visits us and provides us things.

I am watching my kitchen. It is burnt as if something fell from outside and burnt it. I feel afraid. I went to market to find my father. I asked him to come home. He lives down stairs, keeps on drinking, fighting and asking for money. One day he was breaking bottle on the table and arguing. Suddenly my husband came. He saw it. He took me and my son with him. Now my son is 14 years old. We reached the villa. I am thinking how badly I was living with my father (visibly crying). My mother in law is not giving any reaction. My room is big but I sleep alone. It is 1859. My husband does not talk to me in presence of his mother. I am in 40s wearing very different expensive clothes. Now I manage everything in the estate. My mother in law and husband died in an accident. Once I went to meet my father. He is sad and depressed. He said he loves me a lot and wants to live with me. I refused. He asked for help him with money. I did not help and came back. He is feeling bad that I am not helping him at all. My life is moving on smoothly in the villa. One day I did not feel good. I am on the bed. Someone is checking me but I died. In the last moment I felt very sad. My love life was not satisfactory. It seems my father wanted to live with me. He was an alcoholic and he is my present life husband now who is also an alcoholic. When I married him he was a divorcee with two kids. I was not married and doing good in my profession. I feel I had to marry him in this life to help and heal him. I am going towards light. It is very peaceful here. Someone is giving me a message to improve my physical health and connect more with nature.